“Welcome to this special report, I am Raju Reporter, along with camerawoman Isha, we are live from this small but picturesque town of Shantinagar, this small community is celebrating the 100th Birthday of one of its resident Krishnan Lal. As you can see on your TV sets Mr. Lal has emerged from his home and is being wished by his family and friends.
I am sure all of you watching at home must be wondering if we have the wrong person, let me tell you that we have not made an error, it’s just that Mr. Lal at 100 could easily pass off as a 60 year old. Today on this occasion he will be sharing the secret to his longevity. Sources tell us that his secret is the power of prayer. He says one prayer daily, we are interested in finding out the prayer.
Religious leaders from this state are attending this function, a shrine of the God that he prays too will be build. Ram Narayan Mahadevan has promised to build a temple if Mr. Lal prays to a hindu god, Mohammad Islam is confident that he prays to Allah and will build a mosque and Father Anthony Gonsalves is certain that only Jesus can possess this power.
Mr. Lal has agreed to talk to us exclusively, I will be going down to the podium to interview him after he cuts the cake, courtesy of the local bakery.
The interview is on next after a short break and a word from the local bakery”
“Mr. Lal I am Raju Reporter from SNN – Shocking News Network. Happy 100th Birthday”
“Thank you. I am honored and humbled by this gesture”
“There is but one God as far as I am concerned”
“I call him God, he calls him Krishna, she calls him Jesus while they call him Allah”
The three religious leaders make a quick exit.
“Sure, all I do is ask for diseases”
“Diseases?? Oh I get it, God never answers our prayers so you ask for diseases and thus you never get it”
“No I get my wish everyday, here let me recite the prayer
Give me High Blood Pressure, such that my blood boils every time I see injustice in the society, let my pressure not return to normal until I have done all I could to fight against the injustice, until I have wiped a tear and healed the wound of a fellow human being.
Give me High Cholesterol, cholesterol of the soul whereby I cannot digest excess riches, I cannot indulge in excess luxuries, I eat only what I require, crave for all that is necessary, my condition may improve only when I share my riches with others, make my neighbor better off than me.
Give me Diabetes, my body should reject fake praises, false claim of love and support, I want to digest criticism, help me make the day of people around me a little sweeter, refrain from abusing others, shower a praise where necessary, give encouragement when needed all while boldly speaking the truth.
Give me loss of Speech and Hearing Ability, so that I do not speak ill of others, love is a feeling that one can experience, I have no use for the ears.
Give me loss of Vision, I don’t want to see the modern marvels, temples and shrines, riches, luxury or affluence. I want to see and feel the pain and suffering of others, want to share their misery, all I want to see is love and peaceful co-existence, those things are felt not seen, thus have no need for eyes.
Give me Alzheimer’s Disease, I want to forget all the pain that has been given to me by others, once I forget that I will forgive them. I want to be a decent human being and for that one needs a good heart, thus I have no use of memory.
Give me Heart Disease, make my heart stop beating the day I become numb or indifferent to the pain and suffering around me, the day I put myself ahead of others, for a heart that does not feel for others is useless for me.
God, give me these diseases and much more, I also ask for strength and blessings to continue on my mission, you can judge my actions, I might falter but let my intentions forever be pure” he pauses
“Dear Friends, I only pray once a day and then go on with my life, today I pray that may God give all of you the diseases I have”
Raju Reporter’s phone rings “Raju, this is the GM, this turned out to be a waste of time and our rating has plummeted, I want you to go to Mumbai right away, sources tell me that SRK has decided to quit smoking, I want our network to break the news, he sought the help of Addiction Clinic, I hope to get their sponsorship for our upcoming serial Bhabhi Ya Souten”.
